Friday, May 18, 2007
Blog Entry #3
What's wrong with being slower or fatter?
THERE'S a frightening phenomenon that has not been given due recognition by our society - angry Singapore teenagers.
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There is a line between teenage angst and true frustration - and that line is crossed more often than we think.
Singapore teenagers have a hard time growing up and finding their identity in a society that embraces an almost extreme form of conformity.
What does it mean to 'conform' in the Singapore context? I asked a few teenagers and they came up with an exhaustive list relating to their school lives.
You have to be brilliant in your studies, active in co-curricular activities, speak, read and write at least two languages fluently, and enjoy doing community service.
Then there's the need to be a computer whiz, an entrepreneur, be artistically inclined and 'creative', as well as be physically fit and within a specific weight range.
Only when you accomplish all of these and more, are you seen as 'in'.
If every Singaporean student lived according to that code of conformity, common sense would dictate that he would be either a paragon of perfection or a frustrated and angry teen trying to muddle his way through the most difficult time of his life.
The angriest teenagers I have met come from the Normal stream.
One of them told me, tongue firmly in cheek: 'In Singapore, it's only 'normal' if you're in the Express stream instead of in the Normal stream.'
The latter group of students are left on the sidelines, shunted aside and made to feel stupid.
As a relief teacher, I have taught many students from the Normal stream.
One of them told me: 'Why study? Anyway, they say I'm stupid, what!'
Another told me about a gang of Secondary 4 girls who often called her 'stupid Normal girl' and bullied her.
As a fellow tuition teacher told me: 'They are good kids, but because they're academically weak, they just can't fit in. They get frustrated.'
Do these teenagers deserve to be ostracised? Don't they deserve to be recognised as individuals and not labelled 'failures' or 'stupid'?
Another group of angry teenagers are the overweight ones. One of them told me that 'fat people are the loneliest people in school'.
She told me she might not show it, but she hated the way she was made to feel.
I swallowed a knot in my throat and silently agreed.
As a plump teenager, I spent most of my school life feeling ashamed of myself and had constant thoughts of suicide.
I had no friends because as a 'fat' person, students and teachers depicted me as a 'problem kid'.
Overweight teenagers have separate PE lessons, their recess time is monitored, and they're subjected to compulsory 'trim and fit' sessions after school.
Such acts are humiliating and the teenagers are treated almost like criminals.
The anger that these two groups of teenagers carry with them cannot be easily dismissed as 'teenage angst'.
A person should never be measured by a list of 'common' attributes and accomplishments.
As long as we fail to recognise the individual as precious, there is no room for creativity, excellence and true accomplishment among Singaporeans - teens and adults alike.
Reflection
This article writes about teenage angst and frustration. Many students in secondary school are being ostracized just because they are different from majority of the school population, for example being in the
Schools should take the initiative, and try to help these pupils who are ostracized. They can be counseled to help them regain their self confidence and esteem. Many students get angsty because they cannot feel accepted in their circle of friends, and thus feel that their whole world is falling apart. Many a time, they try to get girlfriends to act “cool”, however, these relationships are usually short-lived as they are only for the purpose of showing off. Teenage angst is a major problem in schools, as many students now come from broken families. It is a culture of youths which is characterized by them wearing dark and undersized attire with sneakers. Such teens are full of emotion and often negativity about life and some of them even cut themselves. It is a growing concern as incidences of teens causing self hurt is increasing everyday.
However, being frustrated can be similar to being angsty. Students can get frustrated when they think that their friends do not understand their problems, and how they want to fit in. Therefore, they do not know what to do, and bottle up all their feelings inside of them. When they explode, they simply cut themselves and vent their frustration on themselves.
We can look at it from another perspective. Maybe these teens are not actually angsty, but are just putting on a show to act cool. However, I believe that they should not go as far as cutting themselves to fit in with the crowd. Parents of such teens have to take the responsibility of cultivating strong values in their children, and have to take action if their children are going out with bad friends, or harming themselves. Freedom does not mean free will, and parents ultimately have to guide their child in the right path.
However, I have not experienced angst before, and as a perfectly happy person, I am unable to look at the situation from the student’s point of view. They might have this empty hole in their heart which needs to be filled up by love as their backgrounds are rather unknown. Thus, they will go all out to search for that missing piece in their jigsaw of a heart, and will stop at nothing to achieve it.
In conclusion, I feel the angsty culture is not acceptable as it is causing many teenagers to hurt and inflict pain on themselves. If such acts take place, parents should be aware and send them for counseling. Teens themselves also have to make sure they do not blindly follow the wrong influences, as the price that has to be paid for a product of merely fitting into the crowd is much too high for any teen to pay. I believe that schools should also play a part to prevent ostracizing incidents in school, as consequences can be severe.
(553 words)
moonlight shone on Friday, May 18, 2007.
