Friday, March 14, 2008
i'm still on that bb high.
but for the whole day i've been thinking.
how do i pass it on?
after march camp i've felt so bonded with the squad.
but do they feel the same?
if so, how do i encourage them to maintain it?
if not, how do i make them feel it?
i feel so suppressed sometimes.
i have so much i want to let out.
nobody listens.
nobody wants to listen.
so be it.
this little insignificant me in the whole wide world.
i'm alone.
so alone.
imagine a phytoplankton.
floating alone in the great big ocean.
different currents affect different plankton.
the plankton closest to him, plankton around him.
all have sucuumbed to the different environments.
the different predators.
this plankton wants to hang on, to let the plankton around him hold on.
he flails around wildly.
but in the deep blue ocean, there is no foothold, nothing to hold on to.
the plankton floats along.
his friends and family disperse.
he has barely enough to survive each day.
but inside him he's empty.
he knows he needs support.
he appears normal outside.
he wants people to understand him.
but in the deep blue ocean, everyone's fighting their own battle.
who would care about such an insignificant microorganism?
he cries.
nobody sees the tears, all are washed away by the currents.
he struggles.
nobody would even look at him.
he desperately needs something to hold on to.
he doesn't want to sucuumb to the current.
too many of his closest friends have gone the same way.
he wants to stand against the tide.
at the same time he wants to let go, to lead a worriless life.
what should he do?
moonlight shone on Friday, March 14, 2008.
