Thursday, January 31, 2008
am i that horrible?
grah.
why is the whole world always against me.
i don't wanna seem so emo, but i really can't help it.
do i really look so un-project-able? can't do work properly?
some of my friends are really nice, but some are really just plain assholes.
stick with you for what? play that bleach game. and so what happens when i've returned the psp?
poof, he disappears faster than you can say, "chire, senbonzakura."
there were so many other people that i could have eaten with.
i chose to find you. yet you walked out on me.
it might be too harsh to call it a betrayal. but you absolutely know i hate being alone.
i'm vulnerable when i'm alone. prone to different kinds of stuff.
and i ate alone for that lunch.
so many thoughts just ran through my head.
you were supposed to be one of my better friends, yet you just disappeared without a trace when the psp was gone.
is that all our friendship is worth?
or were you not my friend to begin with.
just a stranger i barely knew, that i poured out my heart to.
a stranger i mingled with.
a stranger i got influenced by.
i seriously wondered whether i should have even started making friends with you.
on hindsight i think it really is.
maybe i should calm down.
but i'm alone now.
home is never warm. it's a cold lonely place.
the faintest glint of light comes from talking to my friends online.
yet again i question, are they really my friends?
or are they just putting on a mask to face me, while their true face is still hidden from me.
i do not know.
home doesn't feel like home at all.
home is a place where i feel the most insecure.
it's one of the places where my belongings are stolen!
it's so hard living in this home.
home is an aimless void, revolving round the shadows of life.
if i don't talk in school, my voice could disappear from lack of use.
that's why i'm so hyperactive.
but, the harshness of reality sinks in again.
no one cares.
relationships in school are so superficial.
many insensitive creeps running around, poking fun at what you simply don't have.
never once have i been taken seriously.
i don't even have a proper group of friends i hang out with.
so many cliques around, yet i'm not even close to any.
dong, ivan and seah are probably the most obvious clique.
there's also the ncc clique.
my relationship with weishen is good, but ultimately still superficial, he has his swimming clique.
the clique i'm probably the nearest to is samson zhuoyang chunyin eugenegan.
it's hopeless.
the odds of finding a true lifelong friend in ri is close to 0.
in fact, i think it IS 0.
just how many people are that close to me?
i think i'll stop here. so much more i have in my heart. no one to pour it out to.
life is hard.
moonlight shone on Thursday, January 31, 2008.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
are.
a.
argh i won't say the last word. but i hate you.
moonlight shone on Tuesday, January 29, 2008.
Monday, January 28, 2008
we have that gidiot for a teacher. i don't understand a single thing he's talking about.
best of all, there's a test tomorrow. I DON'T UNDERSTAND A SINGLE THING.
physics lesson is total crap. no one listens, i bet he doesn't even understand what he's talking about. to show what i mean, i quote a MSN convo:
| 10:22 PM) [The Sufferer] 天: | kart |
|---|---|
| (10:22 PM) [The Sufferer] 天: | he cant teach |
| (10:22 PM) [The Sufferer] 天: | and we all know how dumb people can get when they express thought to words |
| (10:22 PM) kuchiki byakuya.: | LOL. |
| (10:23 PM) [The Sufferer] 天: | lets say gideon has 5 units of thought |
| (10:23 PM) kuchiki byakuya.: | good morning class. |
| (10:23 PM) kuchiki byakuya.: | *sir. |
| (10:23 PM) [The Sufferer] 天: | 5 -(thought)-> 4 -(rearrangement) -> 3 -(typing)-> 2 |
| (10:23 PM) [The Sufferer] 天: | his info becomes crap when he says it out |
| (10:23 PM) kuchiki byakuya.: | LOL |
| (10:23 PM) [The Sufferer] 天: | or when he performs his actions |
| (10:24 PM) [The Sufferer] 天: | like use a plunger on the wall |
| (10:24 PM) kuchiki byakuya.: | LOL |
| (10:24 PM) kuchiki byakuya.: | n1 |
| (10:24 PM) kuchiki byakuya.: | n1 |
| (10:24 PM) [The Sufferer] 天: | oh i know when 2 turns into 1 |
| (10:24 PM) [The Sufferer] 天: | 2 -(sarah)-> 1 |
| (10:24 PM) [The Sufferer] 天: | anyways |
| (10:24 PM) kuchiki byakuya.: | LOL |
and the whole world's just ignoring me on msn.
i feel like an emo ulquiorra.
moonlight shone on Monday, January 28, 2008.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
urgh.
and i STILL can't find my psp. maybe i'll just wait till CNY, then slurp all the red packet money. $_$
there aren't much things to do on the com nowadays, especially since i can't play any games.
most of the time it's just bleachexile, KOL, soccernet, abit of facebook and no more. it's too boring.
i need something to spice up my life.
moonlight shone on Sunday, January 27, 2008.
Friday, January 25, 2008
please go do this quiz. created by yours truly!
i'm quite free actually. this weekend is a slack weekend.
pushups ftw.
moonlight shone on Friday, January 25, 2008.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
and that i exceeded expectations.
i feel accomplished.
moonlight shone on Thursday, January 24, 2008.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
would like to be again someday (:
haiya short post lah, today quite uneventful.
except for lunch! they released us 15 mins late, and expected us to go back 5 mins late only. that's totally stupid. so as soon as they said, "go for your lunch!" benooi haran marcus tay and i CHIONGED out of the stupid hall, to the canteen. when we finished buying i saw samson and chunyin and eugene gan looking at my food with disdain =D aww too bad. however, i was one of the last few to go back into the hall. =D slacked too much. =x
okay it IS a short post. don't ask.
moonlight shone on Wednesday, January 23, 2008.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
due to the amount of people currently reading my blog (or lack of it), i think i can post more personal stuff here.
i really feel like i haven't achieved much during my 4 years in RI.
no CEC, SS in BB is just a stupid position 5 other people have. i'm not EVEN in house EXCO. why? because that day the whole world wanted to come to my house to do history project. that about sums it up. i got NOTHING. sometimes i can just ask myself, what i have done in RI. the only things worth noting are my interest in chem, and my goalkeeping skills (which alot of people don't find good, for some odd reason). i don't know what's gotten into me, but i really don't know what i'm worth now. i really want someone to just be there for me, and can provide comfort, but seeing as how my PARENT can't do it, i wonder how good friends can be. i don't even think that i'll find any. most of the people i talk to have better friends from their CCA or whatever. the closest friends i have are eugene gan samson zhuoyang chunyin etc.
and i need to redo english.
moonlight shone on Tuesday, January 22, 2008.
Monday, January 21, 2008
bb was stupid. and i'll just leave it at that.
time to go look for my PSP again.
PSP WHERE ARE YOU PLEASE COME OUT.
moonlight shone on Monday, January 21, 2008.
Friday, January 18, 2008
so i fell asleep on the bus, and there was this REALLY hard and sharp thing on the window, so every 5 minutes my head would bang into it REALLY HARD. imagine the 1 hour + bus ride. when i finally got off my head was sore.
resuming: the search for the lost psp.
WHERE IS MY PSP.
moonlight shone on Friday, January 18, 2008.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
moonlight shone on Thursday, January 17, 2008.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
thanks to sikai for the EXACT same pencil box, with different coloured words.
thanks to jaren and joelle for trying to make me something, but didn't bring it.
thanks to zhuoyang samson chunyin benlow dehong kengchee joewie wayne peisu ryanware daniel siyuan eugenelee and brian for that BLEACH game! (even though i can't find my PSP.)
thanks to seah for that 1 buck, and for totally making me nearly suffocate.
thanks to jonlim for that bubble tea.
thanks to lamzy joash junling zhaoxin and hien for that card.
and thanks to qianwen shir britt and seah for that sms too (:
happy birthday to me. (:
on the darkside, my grandma just told me she totally forgot it was my birthday, and proceeded to sms my mum, who ALSO forgot. thanks man. but my father remembered! i'm so touched =D
i still have no birthday cake today.
there's none in sight.
i only see rice. no cake.
no birthday song.
hell of a birthday this is.
bleh.
am i meant to live this life?
moonlight shone on Wednesday, January 16, 2008.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
i'm really tired, so it's a short post today.
tomorrow's my birthday(:
moonlight shone on Tuesday, January 15, 2008.
Monday, January 14, 2008
wallpaper, msn dp, msn background, handphone wallpaper, theme, screensaver, start-up picture.
woo.
singspiration is really encountering many probs lah. i want to have it every week. but for some reason darius just refuses to let me do it! i'll try to find a way out.
moonlight shone on Monday, January 14, 2008.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
and we cheated. we took bus! (:
walked till legs ached. (actually it was alr aching before we started.)
and then... we reached ECP!
rammed BK and chionged bridge. then got chased out.
went macs. got chased out again.
found a barbeque pit.
bridged till 3 or 4am. slept awhile.
bloody ECP to MOE adventure thingy SO FAR.
before we even reached halfway we turned back. gave up.
after breakfast darius ken kieran ivan and i went from the other side. try and get to marine cove.
we gave up halfway also!
ken and i went to play in the water. (:
OHYES AND I THREW AWAY MY FAVOURITE SOCKS.
i stepped on the grass.
SLOOSH.
the whole foot went in.
i quickly drew it out and tried to find another path using my left foot.
SLOOSH.
best.
then i dont care alr, i just run through the whole thing.
I'M GOING TO DIE AS AN SS. i will need to follow the stupid squad on THAT hike AGAIN.
rah.
moonlight shone on Saturday, January 12, 2008.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
miss goh said i can do the composition very well! (:
yes. and MEP soccer makes my new shoes look very worn.
VERY worn.
tomorrow is pe! =D and bb day. ):
and tomorrow i'm meeting shir with jaren! for my bday present. thankyou shir! (:
moonlight shone on Thursday, January 10, 2008.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
haiya. although i really wanted to be one, i never expected to be even nominated anyway.
this year: physics is gone. really gone. as gone as a gondor.
today drill was super funny!
chee keen rocks.
the NCC people were shouting about in the parade square. and cheekeen said, "bb is very rational. we don't do retarded things." apparently they were shouting the number of seconds left. which is a first. (pardon the pun.)
and that junyong. "I AM YOUR STAFF SERGEANT.", "i can't believe i'm doing this. THIS is a push-up position, not like this, or like this or whatever." best.
and ivan. cheekeen said for pandang ke kiri change over to up. so when we were supposed to look left he said up. which is correct. then when it was time to switch back to facing the front. HE SAID DOWN. like ohmygoodness. that's simply retarded. (hello darius(: )
but after drill, my legs are aching like mad. as aching as an eggyolk.
muster parade is stupid and is a waste of time.
moonlight shone on Wednesday, January 09, 2008.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
and chinese is best.
moonlight shone on Tuesday, January 08, 2008.
Monday, January 7, 2008
guess what she did.
she read my sms-es. every single one of them. guess what? she purposely read those that i sent to jaren. ask jaren what i sent him.
arthur is simply irritating. to the core. he simply REFUSES to sit anywhere other than beside me, and WHEN I ASK HIM A QUESTION HE IGNORES ME and says, "don't ask me this type of lousy question." what the hell. so what if you're smart. you're just a piece of bullshit. you think you're so smart. you're just a horrible failure. an irritating fellow that just cannot shut up. you know what? you're 90% of the noise pollution in the earth. just get lost and remove that will you. stuck-up ass.
and i'm still keeping my resolution not to be vulgar! (:
moonlight shone on Monday, January 07, 2008.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Free-IQTest.net - Mensa IQ Test
(:
today is even more horrible than yesterday.
there was NO zak.
so i wasted 8 whole dollars. on NOTHING. i did NOTHING in bunk.
so i got pissed and went to suntec, to exchange the ppcs for the calendars.
then i passed by a converse shop, and bought my new shoes that i'd always wanted.
today is boring.
updated wants for bday:
PSP RPG game.
water bottle.
chain for my jeans.
a blade staff.
zakum helm.
a bithday cake.
and someone to eat it with.
yep. that's about it.
moonlight shone on Sunday, January 06, 2008.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
arms took quite long to kill. first person to die: jaren. then yammycake died. and so did waregreymon. ALL MY PARTY MEMBERS. so mage and i survived without hb and heal. for at least half an hour okay. then boss was telling me self-pot self-pot (he was on the com beside mine.) so finally 7 arms down and left the toilet arm. some smartass hit the thing while everyone at toilet. at b1 carol died, triggering a chain reaction. invin, bendit, and some others died. i died at b2, cos i didn't have any more power elixirs left and potted dews, while waiting for ang to heal me. of course that was a bad move and i died. b2 50%. not bad for a first try lah. so i moved my chair and watched boss play. he died also. he waited for ang to heal him also.
tomorrow there will be another zak. but i got no money.howhowhow. nobody wants to lend me anymore.
if you don't want don't pretend to afk. say it straight to my face. i hate people who aren't straightforward.
moonlight shone on Saturday, January 05, 2008.
Friday, January 4, 2008
today was sandcastle building. that desmond guy has a horrible pronunciation problem.
getting water from the sea was the most fun part. because your feet go into the sea! (:
and so our class was tasked to do the "raja block". WHICH RAJA BLOCK HAS 4 MINIATURE CASTLES ON THE ROOF? i did the windows! but the corners were very scary. after i imprinted the windows on one of the corners, THE WHOLE CORNER COLLAPSED. ohmygoodness. but shanghua rebuilt it in 5 mins! that's uber pro. (but actually his own corner toppled once too.)
AND AFTER THAT WE CAN WEAR SLIPPERS. THEY'RE ALLOWED. eat that qw. (:
then went to pasir ris book dental appointment. 615pm. -.- i looked at the time. 145pm. great. but i still had piano lesson! which was at 215pm. one hour later. i travelled back to pasir ris and went to the library. slept there till 545, then stoned around.
i haven't been to pasir ris for so long! i actually miss it lah. i know the whole place very well, but now it's like so new. there's even a KFC now. to think i was complaining about the lack of KFCs in pasir ris.
school is gonna really begin on monday. i'm really glad i managed to sort out my priorities. thanks to qw, who said she was gonna quit maple, made me ponder upon whether i should or not. and i decided on it. and i think my grades are gonna improve now. please let me keep this attitude of being hardworking. i really don't want to fall back into a mood that's so totally un-RI.
i need encouragement.
moonlight shone on Friday, January 04, 2008.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
yes. my language will be so clean you'll think it's new! (:
moonlight shone on Thursday, January 03, 2008.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
the start of school!
no maple. ):
more soccer.
more mugging.
more stress.
so here are our teachers
english: felicia kuo
maths: peh lian hong
chinese: yong chai may(sp)
bio: jeffrey lee
physics: gideon choo
chem: ong chiau jin! (:
philo: kenneth low
pe: raymond chan
hist: doreen ang
ss: neoh terh ling
MEP: goh meei yunn
idk lah. sigh. seems like i'll go back to emo again. someone PLEASE help me.
please.
EDIT: more stuff.
this time i'm really gonna be hardworking. i promised myself. and i even bought a new file and diary to encourage myself. cleared up my work table of all the junk. i really hope i do succeed this time. please. let me.
on a brighter note: my birthday's coming! so comes the present buying season (:
wants: pencil case (billabong or OP would be fine.)
water bottle.
wallet!
someone to celebrate it with.
a birthday cake (i've never eaten my own birthday cake before. okay i shan't emo.)
new sneakers.
PSP RPG game.
yep. someone please get me something please(:
moonlight shone on Wednesday, January 02, 2008.
